Admitting defeat

Well looky here, two blogs in one week. Either I have a really interesting life, or I don't have much to do at work at the moment. Take your pick. ;)

Actually, the reason that I'm writing this entry is to vent about something that's really been bothering me: my cat. I'm sure there are people out there who know that a few months ago I tried to find a new home for my cat, Spice, because she was having some behaviour problems that I just wasn't dealing with well (and, frankly, neither was she!). It got better, somewhat, but now it's gotten much, much worse.

The only downside (seriously, the only one!) to having Adam live with me is that my cat hates him. Like HATES him. She is so sweet and friendly and affectionate with me - well really, way too affectionate in that she doesn't leave me alone and gets angry if I don't pay her enough attention, but still super sweet - that at first I almost didn't believe him about how she's been acting when he's home alone with her. Adam's still looking for jobs here (what a great time for it, I know!), so he's been at home all day while I'm at work. Which apparently is not going over so well with Spice. Turns out she's a complete and total bitch to him. She swipes and yowls and hisses at him if he tries to pet her or play with her, or sometimes if he just walks too close to her when he's moving around the apartment. She will sit under the couch or bed, and swipe at his feet when he walks by. The only time she lets him near her is when I'm there, and even then she still hates him half the time. And he's been working really hard to try and get her to like him - we took her to the vet about a month ago, and the vet recommended using food as an incentive to get her to trust and like Adam. Like she gets treats if she lets him pet her, etc. Except she's really nice while he's giving her treats, and then the minute he stops she just gets aggressive again. The other day he got down on the floor to try and play with her, and she swiped at his face! It a dog was being aggressive like that, it would not be safe to keep. I know she's just a cat, but that kind of physical aggression is not acceptable.

And then two days ago I discovered that she has been peeing outside of her litter box again, but in a place where it's obviously not a bladder problem (when it's something wrong physically, she just pees right outside of the litter box). This time she has been peeing right where my feet sit when I'm sitting on the couch. Which is very clearly a statement to me. I'm pretty sure that she's been doing it when I occasionally lock her out of the bedrooms in the morning when she's being too loud and whiny and I'm just trying to sleep. It didn't used to be a problem if I did it, but I guess now maybe she's seeing it as picking Adam over her? Either way, clearly the peeing is unacceptable. And I also think it's even worse that I'm gone all day than before (I mean, she hated it before, but now I'm leaving her alone with Adam I think she hates that even more).

The thing is, yeah, maybe she'd get used to Adam eventually. But am I going to have to go through this every time I get a pet? If we have visitors? If the routine changes? If we move? I have tried everything with her, short of Prozac (I've decided I am not paying that kind of money to drug a cat, when I'm not even sure about drugging people for depression!). I have had this cat for almost 2 and a half years now, and things have not really gotten any better. In many ways I love her, but the irritation and frustration has taken over and I can't really stand having her around that much anymore. Which is making the situation worse, because she can tell.

So I'm really, really hoping that I'm going to be able to find a new home for her. She would be an absolutely amazing pet for an older person or couple with a steady routine, because then she'd be getting lots of attention and not having things shaken up for her. She is sweet and loving and adorable, and an incredible cuddler. But our personalities and needs in life are clearly not compatible, and I like to believe that I have done everything that a responsible pet owner can do to try and accommodate the needs of her/his pet. Now I just have to try and find somewhere where she will be happier. And I will be happier. And Adam will be WAY happier!