All cooped up and nothing to do

I haven't written for a while, a few weeks now probably. The only important thing that's happened in the last couple of weeks is that I didn't get hired back at my firm, but since I'm pretty sure I sent an email to absolutely everyone who might care at all (although I'm sure I managed to miss a few people when I was clicking off who to put in the 'bcc' address box, as always) then I didn't really feel the need to post the info too. Not cause I didn't feel like writing about it, just cause I'm lazy!

So yeah, I didn't get hired back. Not really too upset about it at all. Obviously would have been nice to have a job, and I really like (at least most) of the people in the department I would have been working in if I had been hired back. But I also really, really, REALLY want to go back to Toronto. I didn't think I would miss it that much, and I figured I could always go back to Toronto on weekends if I needed to. And I do have family in Ottawa who I love. But I never see them - they have their little babies and families and lives, not that I've put in the effort either, being ridiculously lazy on weekends! I think it's just a matter of being in different points of life at different times, makes it difficult. And I do have friends that I have made here, like people I am articling with. But none of those friendships are the same as the friendships I have with people from law school or undergrad. And I miss those friendships. I miss my sister. I miss having Adam's family around, because we hang out with his brothers and their significant others a lot and that's a lot of fun, like family and friends combined. And I miss a lot of things about the city - more and better restaurants (including more with good all-day breakfast!), more and better concerts, ease of access to getting around the city (who knew I would miss having a subway system so much, considering I've spent only about 6-8 months of my entire life having one, the rest of the time it's been buses if anything). Ottawa is nicer in the summer, but much more miserable in the winter (especially without the PATH underground system!). Basically Ottawa is a very beautiful, nice, relaxed city, great for a lot of people and I've enjoyed it for the year, but turns out it's not for me.

The downside of not being hired back is that it's a lot more difficult now to feel motivated. Especially since, as I think I mentioned before, the summer students are now here as of 2 weeks ago. Which means that all the work goes to them, which is great except that I am now really, really, really, REALLY bored. I have nothing to do. This is made a little bit better by the fact that I can get away with coming in at 9:30 and leaving at 4:30, but still that means I have to sit at my desk during those hours and come up with something to do (hence, this post and the crazy babbling I'm doing - sorry about that to anyone actually still reading this post!).

Went to Adam's cottage last weekend for the May 24, just the two of us and his brother Jack, plus Jack's 2 large dogs and my cat Spice. Spice spent some time outdoors for the first time since I've had her (apart from her going missing in downtown Toronto for a week last summer, after escaping through a broken window). She liked it, although she didn't go too far and only would spend about max 10 minutes outside at a time. She also continues to get along relatively well with the dogs, although she definitely does NOT like it when the boy dog decides that he needs to lick her all over. I can't tell if he's trying to show affection (he does lick people, too), or if he's trying to figure out if she's a tasty treat. Either way, Spice definitely lets him know it's not cool, and he's fairly terrified of her when she gets all bitchy, so that works out.

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT SOMETHING AWESOME!!!!!! I got to go to another Leonard Cohen concert last week! How could I frigging forget that??!! Yeah, my sister and I had gotten tickets for our dad for his birthday, but of course he decided he didn't want to go. I had originally said I couldn't go along, because it was in the middle of the week and I didn't want to spend the money to fly/drive there and back from Ottawa, and I didn't want to have to take too much time off. But the week before I'd realised that I had the Monday off anyway (the concert was on Tuesday), and that I could get a ride back to Toronto with Jack or with Adam (if Adam decided to go to Toronto as well after the cottage, instead of heading back to Ottawa), and then I would only have to take 2 days off and only pay one way on public transportation. So I went, and it was awesome. Not as good as the one I went to last year, only because it was a larger forum so less intimate-feeling, but still absolutely amazing. Definitely Leonard is my favourite musician/musical artist/songwriter of all time - the man has so much talent it's insane!

After we went back to Toronto, I left on Wednesday on the train, because Adam needed to stay and meet with some profs to get reference letters and stuff. And for some reason there wasn't a single train on Wednesday that had checked baggage (I had been sure there was always at least one a day), so I couldn't take Spice back to Ottawa with me (pets have to go in carriers in checked baggage cars only). So Adam and Spice are still in Toronto, and probably will be until at least Wednesday. Which means I am very, very lonely. :( But I did have a relaxing weekend this past weekend, and I watched some movies that Adam wouldn't want to watch with me, so that was all right. I also bought the first season of True Blood - if you have not seen it, find a way to watch it somehow, it's freaking amazing (and redonculously sexy!). The second season starts June 14th on HBO, so get caught up on the first before then!

So now we're all caught up. I only have 3 more weeks of work. How awesome is that????!!!!

Update on the job front:

There IS no update. What a surprise. While the firm insists that it is because they still haven't made the decision, suspicions among students are high that they're actually just worried that our activity level will decrease exponentially once we know that we are definitely not hired (rather than being just 99% sure). They could be right. But with the summer students coming in soon anyway, not really sure why it would matter - it's not like we're going to stop doing work altogether! It's getting very frustrating, I would REALLY like to know where I'm going to be living in 2 months' time, but since the only thing I can do is keep on keeping on, I guess... that's what I'll do!

On a more positive note, Adam and Spice are really getting along well now. In fact, yesterday she climbed into his lap for a cuddle, without even being enticed by treats! This makes me verrrrrrrrrry happy!

Also, I ordered my robes for my Call to the Bar last week (I decided to buy on the off-chance that at some point I might actually get a law practice job). They should be in sometime in the next couple of weeks. It's definitely the most I've ever spent on an 'outfit', especially considering it's probably going to be hella unflattering, but the law profession seems to be big on this whole 'tradition' thing so I guess I'm along for the ride. Right now I'm just looking forward to a summer of UNemployment... at least I'll get a lot of reading done! :D

The times, they are a-changin'

I changed my display name for this post - for the first time since I started this sucker, I am no longer 'Dirty'. I know there are going to be people who still call me that, and I'm cool with it, but I realised that I no longer identify myself as 'Dirty' (the name, I never identified myself as 'dirty' the adjective!) so I might as well change up the name.

I also changed the template, thought this looks a little nicer (and more mature? lol) than the old one.

I had an absolutely great Easter/Passover weekend. Thursday night Adam and I went into Toronto for his family's seder, at his grandma's place. It was really nice to see everyone, although I have to confess that I don't super love most of the traditional seder dishes (um, gifelte fish? really? And matzo ball soup, no thanks!). But it was a good family dinner, as usual, at least in terms of company.

Friday Adam and I spent with Adam's cousin and his girlfriend, and Adam's two brothers and their significant others, and Adam's little niece. I think she finally likes me! She's only two and a few months, and in the past she's basically been indifferent towards me, particularly since she ADORES Adam and pays attention to him all the time if he's there. But on Friday I got to really spend some time with her, and we played, and it was lots of fun. So hopefully next time she'll actually remember me, and like me! :)

We had brought Spice with us for the weekend, because she travels so well in her carrier and it's way better for her than leaving her alone for the weekend with a sitter who's only there twice a day, or bringing her to a 'kennel'-type place which she just hates. On Friday when Adam's one brother and his fiancee came over, they brought their two dogs (one rottweiler x Belgian shepherd, and one rottweiler x american staffordshire terries - in other words, VERY big dogs!). I was worried that Spice would be terrified and wouldn't do well, so I initially had her in the basement with a baby gate preventing her from coming upstairs. But at one point I came around the corner, and she and Tia (one of the dogs) were rubbing noses. So I decided to give it a chance, and let her out. There was a little bit of hissing and swiping, mostly when the dogs' curiousity got the better of them and they got a bit too close (especially because the one had this fascination with licking Spice all over), but other than that they all got along pretty well - much better than I had expected! At the end of the night, we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie, with Spice curled up on the couch and the two dogs curled up on the floor in front of us. This makes me really, really happy, since I am much less worried now about what might happen when Adam and I get a dog - as long as we get one that's fairly chill, I'm not really worried anymore about it getting along with Spice, which is awesome.

Saturday and Sunday we just hung out and relaxed, Adam got to hang out with some of his friends which was good since he hardly ever gets to see them anymore. I realise now that I really, really want to move back to Toronto. I still hope that I get hired back here because I do still like the firm and the people and I do like Ottawa, but I miss Toronto and wouldn't mind at all moving back there either. I guess the firm will be making the decision for me, really!

Anyway, Adam and I drove back Monday (I love that my firm gave us both Friday and Monday off - yay for working in 'government town'!). And now I'm back at work, and ready for another 4-day week. ;)

Isn't that always the way?!

I was crazy sick the past 3 days. Not like anything serious, but one of the worst colds that I have ever had. It was unpleasant. What made it even more unpleasant than it otherwise would have been was the fact that I had to work. I could not call in sick, because I had a big, intense research project due on Tuesday, that I pretty much had to be at work to work on because I needed to be able to consult with the lawyer I was working for, and of course they won't let students have access to work email or other work software or anything at home. So instead of staying at home and resting and quarantining myself, I went into work each day and probably infected everyone around me - sorry fellow lackeys! I got the memo done (at 8 last night, about 5 hours after it was expected, and a day after it was actually originally supposed to be done). And that's over, which is great. What's also unfortunate about the situation is that the research was actually interesting, and I like working for this lawyer, so if I hadn't been sick it would have been interesting and challenging. Instead, it kind of ended up just being the bane of my existence.

The only thing that made being sick for the last (side note: at first I totally wrote 'law' instead of 'last' just there - I hate that I instinctively write law!) few days is that I had Adam to take care of me. Despite the fact that he HATES being around sick people and will avoid potential germ transfer at any cost, he was really nice and sweet and took care of me very well. And didn't even refuse to sleep in the same bed as me (probably only because we only have one bed, but still, the couch is a futon!). He bought me soup and made it for me, and brought me drinks and made me tea, and was generally pretty much the best boyfriend ever. I know I'm totally bragging here, but I'm still getting used to having someone around to really take care of me, after living on my own (I know I had roommates, but that's still not exactly the same thing) for the last 7 and a half years. It makes it a lot easier that my mum is 8 hours away, that's for sure!

Before my sicky mcsickyness, I had a fantastic weekend in Toronto with my mum, step-dad and sister. I flew in Thursday night on Porter Airlines, which is a completely amazing experience which I would highly recommend to anyone, because we had a concert that night at 8: Fleetwood Mac!!! We got it for Mikey, my step-dad, for Christmas, and the best part that it was with Stevie Nicks, which of course made it extra awesome. The show was incredible - that band is so ridiculously talented - and since they didn't have a new album to promote, they just played their favourite songs (which of course were often also their most popular ones), and that made it a lot of fun to just be able to enjoy all those songs I grew up listening to and loving. Mikey even got to his feet for one of the encore songs and was clapping along, which is very expressive for him! :D

Friday I spent with my mum, while my sister was at work and my step-dad went to a Home & Outdoor Show with my aunt (his sister). My mum and I cruised around my sister's neighbourhood (Queen and Dufferin, lots of cute little trendy shops), handed out some brochures for my the Art Escape weekend that my mum and her friends have organized (this is their 3rd or 4th, I believe - they really have created something quite impressive), and bought some nice wooden knitting needles for me as I have volunteered with a local charity (Bullies In Need - for rescued 'pitbull' type dogs) to knit some blankets to line doggy crates for the rescued puppies.

Friday night we had a nice family dinner at my sister's place, and spent the night just sitting around, talking, visiting, and making very funny videos and photos of us on my sister's Apple photoshop program - good times all around!

Saturday was spent at the ROM, looking at the dinosaur exhibit which is finally back up and running (located in the crystal), and the Book of the Dead exhibit that they are currently displaying. We then went grocery shopping (and to Wal-Mart for some cheap yarn and kitty toys for my cat and my sister's cat!) because my sister had invited our step-cousins and step-aunt over to her place for dinner, as well as one of our cousins (on my mom's side) who is living in Toronto. Then we went back to my sister's place and cooked supper and prepared for guests. The dinner was excellent, and the desserts that were brought by my step-aunt, step-cousin and cousin were sooooooooo yummy. And it was nice to sit around and visit with everyone, in my sister's beautiful and very trendy downtown house/apartment. My step-aunt and step-cousins left just before Earth Hour began, as they had to get back to Markham. My cousin and her boyfriend stayed with us for Earth Hour. I LOVE Earth Hour. It is so nice to sit around by candlelight and talk and visit and not be distracted by all those electronics. Don't get me wrong, I love love love electronics, but sometimes it really is nice to just enjoy each other without anything else. I definitely agree with Nuju on this one!

Sunday morning the parents left very early, and my sister and I hung out and watched some tv online (sshhhh... I am a bad IP law student!). We then met up with Janice for a couple of hours of shopping at the Eaton Centre (we had planned to hit up Queen Street but it was rainy and miserable, so that plan fell by the wayside). I bought some cute shirts at GAP, and got to hang out with Janice which was awesome. Then I headed up to Lawrence and Bathurst area to get a ride back to Ottawa with my friend and fellow articling student, which was WAY more fun and relaxing than having to take the train back! (I didn't want to fly because there weren't any cheap flights left for Sunday evening, surprise surprise!).

So it was a fantastic weekend, and I was so glad that I got to spend all that time with my family. And Adam and Spice got to spend some quality time together, they had a bit of a major incident (yes, Spice did poop on the carpet and Adam had to clean it up and then clean her up - he gave her a shower!), but I think that it might have actually been good for the two of them. She does sit on the couch beside him now, although a lot of the time she still acts afraid of him. I thinks he respects him now, though, and realises that she does have to obey him, which is very important. So things are looking somewhat up, and hopefully will continue to get better.

Well, now we're all updated, and you're in the know of my incredibly exciting life. Until my next fascinating entry!

Fear of the unknown, it will get you every time

My biggest reason for not wanting to leave my beloved IP (Intellectual Property) department for the Advocacy department was, I will confess, a fear of the unknown. I went into the IP department at the beginning of my articles aware that I knew nothing, really, about the practice of law, but confident at least that I had a sufficient background in intellectual property law, such that no huge new concepts would be leaping out at me. And I was pretty much right. Obviously there are always little issues within any law to learn about, but I had the background down. So nothing was scary and new and foreign. After 7 months in that department, I knew where to look for information and sources. Searching took very little time, generally, unless there was so obscure issue that hadn't really been decided yet.

However, a move to the Advocacy department was a completely different concept. First of all, unlike the IP department which (obviously) deals with one area of law, IP, the Advocacy department deals with any other litigation which may occur in the context of a large firm. Any area of law can potentially involve litigation, pretty much, and having focused so entirely on IP in law school as well as in my first several months of articling, I had pretty much forgotten about any other area of law, if I had known anything about any other area of begin with. On top of that, I didn't even know how to search Ontario law, as all IP law (or at least the vast majority of law relevant to IP) is federal.

So far, in my first week of Advocacy, I have dealt with an employment issue, a criminal issue, a government suit issue, and a small claims court/accounting issue (I have to confess I particularly enjoyed that one, as it involved a lot of math!). None of these are necessarily areas in which I could see myself practicing for the rest of my life (although let's be honest, I'm not going to practice anything for the rest of my life - akademia here I come, once my loans are paid off!), but they are enjoyable. It's interesting to do something entirely new and foreign, and a nice (albeit scary) challenge. I'm definitely using my brain much more in this department, if only because I have to figure out entirely new areas of law (not because IP is less challenging than any other area!). I miss the IP department, I miss the people, and I miss being constantly surrounded by science and scientists every day. But I will go back to that (with any luck - anyone hiring?). In the meantime, I am woman enough to admit that I was wrong, that I am enjoying my 'Advocacy' time, and that even employment law can be interesting.

On another note, also in relation to fear, my cat is now so scared of Adam when he disciplines her (note: 'disciplining' her means clapping hands and saying 'no' very firmly when she does something bad, like hissing and swiping at him when he walks by her to go to the bathroom - it does not mean the use of force whatsoever), that she is apparently pooping on-the-spot when she does get in trouble. She's only done it once so far, but that is one time too many, especially since Adam was the one who had to clean it up since I was at work. Since I think I can be fairly certain that he's not secretly abusing her while I'm at work, that means she's getting more and more scared of him for no reason, and I am at my wit's end. Luckily yesterday she pooped in the small area of tile in the entrance hallway, and not on the carpet, but what am I going to do if she starts going on the carpet? It's not reasonable for Adam to not be able to discipline her, because if she does something like jumping up on the counter or playing with wires, which she is fully aware she's not allowed to do, and he doesn't discipline her, then she'll start to think she can get away those things. But apparently, if he does discpline her, she'll crap her pants - literally.

Am seriously considering making an appointment with the local Humane Society to give her up. I hate the idea of having her live in one of those little cages, essentially abandoning her. But if she's so scared of Adam that she's pooping in fear, can it really be any worse to have her away from him and hopefully, potentially in a home where she is not living in permanent fear?

Admitting defeat

Well looky here, two blogs in one week. Either I have a really interesting life, or I don't have much to do at work at the moment. Take your pick. ;)

Actually, the reason that I'm writing this entry is to vent about something that's really been bothering me: my cat. I'm sure there are people out there who know that a few months ago I tried to find a new home for my cat, Spice, because she was having some behaviour problems that I just wasn't dealing with well (and, frankly, neither was she!). It got better, somewhat, but now it's gotten much, much worse.

The only downside (seriously, the only one!) to having Adam live with me is that my cat hates him. Like HATES him. She is so sweet and friendly and affectionate with me - well really, way too affectionate in that she doesn't leave me alone and gets angry if I don't pay her enough attention, but still super sweet - that at first I almost didn't believe him about how she's been acting when he's home alone with her. Adam's still looking for jobs here (what a great time for it, I know!), so he's been at home all day while I'm at work. Which apparently is not going over so well with Spice. Turns out she's a complete and total bitch to him. She swipes and yowls and hisses at him if he tries to pet her or play with her, or sometimes if he just walks too close to her when he's moving around the apartment. She will sit under the couch or bed, and swipe at his feet when he walks by. The only time she lets him near her is when I'm there, and even then she still hates him half the time. And he's been working really hard to try and get her to like him - we took her to the vet about a month ago, and the vet recommended using food as an incentive to get her to trust and like Adam. Like she gets treats if she lets him pet her, etc. Except she's really nice while he's giving her treats, and then the minute he stops she just gets aggressive again. The other day he got down on the floor to try and play with her, and she swiped at his face! It a dog was being aggressive like that, it would not be safe to keep. I know she's just a cat, but that kind of physical aggression is not acceptable.

And then two days ago I discovered that she has been peeing outside of her litter box again, but in a place where it's obviously not a bladder problem (when it's something wrong physically, she just pees right outside of the litter box). This time she has been peeing right where my feet sit when I'm sitting on the couch. Which is very clearly a statement to me. I'm pretty sure that she's been doing it when I occasionally lock her out of the bedrooms in the morning when she's being too loud and whiny and I'm just trying to sleep. It didn't used to be a problem if I did it, but I guess now maybe she's seeing it as picking Adam over her? Either way, clearly the peeing is unacceptable. And I also think it's even worse that I'm gone all day than before (I mean, she hated it before, but now I'm leaving her alone with Adam I think she hates that even more).

The thing is, yeah, maybe she'd get used to Adam eventually. But am I going to have to go through this every time I get a pet? If we have visitors? If the routine changes? If we move? I have tried everything with her, short of Prozac (I've decided I am not paying that kind of money to drug a cat, when I'm not even sure about drugging people for depression!). I have had this cat for almost 2 and a half years now, and things have not really gotten any better. In many ways I love her, but the irritation and frustration has taken over and I can't really stand having her around that much anymore. Which is making the situation worse, because she can tell.

So I'm really, really hoping that I'm going to be able to find a new home for her. She would be an absolutely amazing pet for an older person or couple with a steady routine, because then she'd be getting lots of attention and not having things shaken up for her. She is sweet and loving and adorable, and an incredible cuddler. But our personalities and needs in life are clearly not compatible, and I like to believe that I have done everything that a responsible pet owner can do to try and accommodate the needs of her/his pet. Now I just have to try and find somewhere where she will be happier. And I will be happier. And Adam will be WAY happier!

Let's hear it for procrastination!!

Because let's face it, only procrastination can explain why my last post was in April of 2008. Really, I have had nothing exciting going on in my life for the past 10 months that required a little updating for those of my friends left who still read this thing? (Note to self: that number is probably a big fat ZERO as I'm sure they've all gotten tired of checking for updates and seeing nothing yet again).

Very quick summary:

- I finished law school in April, graduated in June.
- Took the Bar Admission exams (worst exams ever - I studied 10 hours a day for weeks, and still didn't even get through all of the materials before the tests. Thank goodness for open book exams and indices!). Bar exams were May-June, course was June-July.
- My Dad had a heart attack (very mild, no worries) in China, came back to Canada about a month later. Is now working in London teaching English to college kids, and attempting to bring his Chinese wife over (yup, I have a Chinese step-mom and step-brother, both of whom I have never met).
- As soon as the course was over (literally, the same day), I headed up to Ottawa to look for housing. VERY last minute, considering I was moving to Ottawa one month later. How did that work out for me? Surprisingly well, all things considering. I now live right downtown, about a 5 minute walk from work, in a pretty nice apartment for a pretty good rent. It was the Adam guarantee - if he guarantees something will work out, it just will.
- Subletted one furnished place for the month of August, about 10 minutes from work (couldn't get the 5-minute from work apartment until Sept. 1), then moved. Spent 3 days without furniture, dishes, etc., sleeping on an air mattress, before I was able to movers to bring my things from storage (yay for attempting to move on the first weekend in September... oh, right, students!)
- Started my articling position on Aug. 11th, scared s*%#less and convinced I would hate it. Turns out it's fairly fun and I really like it, and sometimes even love it. Huh, who saw that coming?!
- Sept - Dec = work, worky work work.
- Christmas was spent at my mom and step-dad's place in Northern Ontario, with Adam and the parents and my sister and her boyfriend. It was a great, very relaxing holiday, especially when we set up the dual x-boxes, or had 'family band' time with Guitar Hero. I am a kick-ass drummer, apparently. You know, in not-real-life.
- In December, Adam finished his 2nd degree. While he hasn't actually done the ceremony yet (and I'm sure he won't be attending anyway), he has now officially completed his schooling, and has ended up with a Bachelor of Computer Science, and a Bachelor of Physical Sciences - Physics major. I like to brag. :D
- ATTENTION BIG NEWS: as of mid-January, 2009, Adam and I now live together. That's right folks, after almost 6 years of being together, we now live together. I'm sure we'll be getting married sometime in the next 10... haha. No seriously, no rush for that next step folks! I'm still trying to figure out how to get my cat and my boyfriend to not hate each other... baby steps.
- Am still enjoying articles. Starting to consider where (in terms of city and law firm) I want to apply as an associate. My firm now is definitely my first choice, but unfortunately due to the economy things are not looking good for hire-back. There are many other firms, and some government departments, where I would be happy to start off my 'associate-ness', though, so I'm looking into that and will be sending out applications shortly. Oh, the joy of the job process!
- Will be called to the Bar in June of 2009, then will officially be a lawyer! Woot! Apparently my entire family has been invited to a family gathering in celebration. Overdone, perhaps, but it's very sweet that they're all so excited for me! :)
- Um, I think that's all of my catch-up. Maybe I'll post more often. Or maybe not. On a day-to-day basis, my life is monotonous at best.